Lovin' los libros

Finding It (Losing It #3)
   by: Cora Carmack

Publication Date: Oct. 15, 2013
Publisher: William and Morrow
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Age Group: New Adult
Source: e-ARC received from Edelweiss and the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Page Count: 320 pages
Order Links: Amazon | B&N
My Rating: 4.5/5 stars

"Say it." I arched my body into his, pulling at his shoulders.
"Say what?"
"Say that this is real. Tell me it counts."

Oh my, Jackson Hunt everybody. Whew!

This was a tough review to write. There was so much I wanted to say because of how much it made me feel and yet I couldn't seem to articulate the things I wanted to...

Cora Carmack has done it again! I am absolutely in love with this series! This particular book really got to me because I remember when I was the one traipsing about Europe! Granted, my circumstances were much different from Kelsey's. Still, she was definitely a relatable protagonist especially for me. What I liked the most about this one was Kelsey's self-discovery. Her journey is not an easy one at all- and I love that little by little she starts to see that she hasn't really been living at all. Until she meets Jackson Hunt.

Kelsey Summers is fresh out of college and while her friends are settling down and realizing what they want in life, she finds herself stuck in a swirling vortex, not really knowing which way is up or down. She is self-destructive and while she acts like she's fine and having the time of her life- there is a huge void in her. Partying and random hook ups may provide a temporary high, but they are just that: temporary. Numbing yourself from your past and the pain of feeling lost with alcohol is not the solution. Yet, that is Kelsey's coping mechanism. She does not have a good family life, so going home is not an option. We do not find out until later that her behavior actually stems all the way back to when she was younger. The moment she realizes that she's found something beautiful with Jackson, is the moment she cracks.

"Too scared to prove them wrong, she kept going like it was nothing, and she let more people touch her, never knowing she was handing out pieces of herself. Or, hell, maybe she knew deep down, and she just hated herself so much that she was glad to be rid of them. And life wasn't pretty, but it also wasn't scary until she met a man with two names who touched her without taking and made her miss the pieces she had lost."

Her whole life Kelsey has never truly felt precious- cared for, protected by someone she cares for. The people who were supposed to do that didn't and now she has gone through her life merely existing- trying to forget and by giving herself to different people she now feels shame because she's found the one person who makes her truly happy and she sees now that her past mistakes were wrong. Jackson convinces her that it's going to take time, but reverting back to old ways won't change the future.

Jackson Hunt. Sigh. I won't lie. His storyline was pretty predictable. I had my suspicions from the moment we met him what his deal was. Yet, his character is such an incredible one that it makes up for the predictability of his story. He is a mystery- he shows up in Kelsey's life unannounced and he instantly sees a reflection of his former self in her. He also comes from a less than desirable family situation and having been in the military, Jackson has seen and felt things that no one ever should. His solution was similar to Kelsey's. Numb the pain however you can. He wants to help the broken girl, and while their meeting may not have been accidental, the way they began to feel for one another was. It was pure and watching them heal one another and show the other what it's like to be loved was my favorite part of the book. Jackson takes it upon himself to show this girl what it's like to live. Watching them go from place to place- bungee jumping, spinning around on a merry-go-round... it was like watching Kelsey wake up for the first time.


Their relationship is not an easy one. These two have serious sexual chemistry and tension. Kelsey is all for jumping in head first, but Jackson holds back for multiple reasons. He doesn't want to be another guy for her. He wants to count. He wants to be the one who matters, the game changer for her. He knows he should hold back because he's not being honest with her, and yet that moment where he just can't.... SIGH. I was a puddle of goo.

The moment where the truth comes out hurt like hell. Kelsey is already so fragile from opening up her heart to Jackson about her past and to find he has been keeping things from her hurts her deeply. Again, she is forced to reexamine her life and she must come to terms with her past- so that SHE can move forward. Jackson's betrayal leaves her in a state of drifting- everything reminds her of him. She longs to find a place she can call home and yet she eventually understands what Jackson had said all along- home doesn't have to be a specific place. It can be so much more than that. For Jackson, Kelsey is his home- and I am glad he didn't give up on her. These two challenge each other daily and they really are a perfect match for one another.

I leave you with my absolute favorite literary quote ever that happens to show up in the book. It describes Kelsey PERFECTLY. She is so vibrant, even when she doesn't feel it herself.

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles."  (Jack Kerouac)